As a manager or leader you might be under the impression that you need to rule with an iron fist. Or that it’s better to be feared than loved. Maybe you think this is the best way to motivate your employees. We’ve seen examples of this in things like sports culture, with coaches pushing their players. Or movies like the Oscar-nominated ‘Whiplash’ when a mentor bullies and belittles his students to get more from them.
Bullying doesn’t always manifest itself as yelling or physical intimidation, however. There’s other ways it appears in the workplace. Leading With Trust lists 6 Ways You Might Be a Workplace Bully Without Even Realizing It. Bullying employees does not, in fact, motivate staff. A workplace suffers when a manager bullies their staff. Make sure you’re not that manager by avoiding the traits listed below.
Here are six subtle ways you may be acting like a workplace bully without even realizing it:
- You are condescending – When you act in a condescending manner, whether it’s patronizing someone, being dismissive of a person’s contributions, or minimizing someone’s accomplishments in order to highlight yours, you are sending a message that you believe you are superior to the other person.
- Wounding with sarcasm – I like sarcastic humor as much as the next guy, but there is a huge difference between sarcasm that highlights the irony of a situation and is self-deprecating, versus sarcasm that is intended to belittle and injure another person. Next time you’re ready to drop that witty, sarcastic joke, pause and consider if it will build up the other person or tear her down.
- Being cliquish – Cliques aren’t only for high school. Unfortunately, many adults carry that same behavior into the workplace. Purposely excluding people from activities is a bullying behavior intended to send the message that “you’re not one of us” and “we’re better than you are.” Trusted leaders look for opportunities to include people so they feel valued and appreciated.
- Thinking you know it all – Have you ever worked with a person who thinks she knows it all? How annoying is that?! Much like behaving in a condescending manner, acting like you are the all-knowing expert is a way to intimidate others to go along with your ideas or wishes. Just stop it! No one really believes you anyway.
- Being passive-aggressive – Perhaps one of the most subtle forms of bullying and manipulation, passive-aggressive behavior poisons teams, departments, and organizations. A common trait of bullies is expressing aggression in order to intimidate another person. Passive-aggressive people are bullies who express aggression in indirect ways such as disguising hostility in jokes, stubbornness, procrastination, resentment, or giving just the minimum effort required. I perceive passive-aggressive people as double-agent bullies disguised as victims. Watch out for them!
- Gossiping – Have you ever considered gossipping as a form of bullying? Probably not, but it easily could be considered bullying, and some experts even consider it a form of workplace violence because it’s intended to harm another individual or group. Why do people gossip? It’s to make themselves feel powerful. The gossipper believes she knows something that other people don’t and she uses that information as leverage to elevate herself above others.
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